very interesting and very true...
Is there an imaginary cut off period when offspring become accountable for their own actions?Is there some wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, 'It's Their life,' and feel nothing?
When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my daughter's head and I asked,'When do you stop worrying?' The nurse said,'When they get out of the accident stage..'.
My Parents just smiled faintlyand said nothing.
When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,and was headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher said,'Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them.'
My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.
When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said,'They're trying to find themselves.'Don't worry! In a few years, they'll be adults.' They'll be off on their own, they'll be out of your hair'
My Parents just smiled faintly And said nothing.
By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children,but there was a new wrinkle..Even though they were on their own I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments..and there was nothing I could do about it.
My Parents just smiled faintlyand said nothing.
My friends said that when my kids got married, I could stop worrying and lead my own life.I wanted to believe that,but I was haunted by my parent's warm smiles and their occasional, 'You look pale. Are you all right' ?' Call me the minute you get home'. Are you depressed about something?'
My friends said that when I became a grandparent that I would get to enjoythe happy little voices yelling Grandma! Papa! But now I find that I worry just as much about the little kids as the big ones. How can anyone cope with all this Worry?
Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of earthly creation?
Recently, one of my own children became quite irritable, saying to me,'Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered. I was worried.'
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.
WORRY
on Tuesday, September 28, 2010Presiden Telpon TKW yang Disiksa di Penang
on Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Monday, 20 September 2010 08:07
"Bapak presiden punya perhatian besar terhadap TKI bermasalah di luar negeri. Ia menelpon langsung seorang pembantu yang disiksa dan diperkosa di Penang untuk memberikan dukungan moril," kata Dubes Da`i Bachtiar usai mengunjungi korban di rumah sakit umum Pulau Penang, Minggu sore.
Presiden juga telah memberikan instruksi kepada KBRI Kuala Lumpur dan KJRI Penang untuk memberikan advokasi maksimal kepada TKW yang bermasalah atau menerima siksaan dari majikan.
Mantan Kapolri Da`i Bachtiar didampingi Konjen Penang Chilman Arisman, minister counsellor konsuler KBRI Amirudin Padjaitan dan minister counsellor Pensosbud Widyarka Ryananta langsung mengunjungi korban di rumah sakit Penang setelah media massa Malaysia memberitakan seorang PRT Indonesia disiksa parah dan diperkosa oleh majikannya.
Menurut Kepala polisi Georgetown, Gan Kong Meng, pembantu rumah (PRT) asal Lampung WF itu telah disiksa dan diperkosa oleh majikannya. WF (26 Thn) mengaku dipukul kepalanya, tangan dan kakinya dengan ikat pinggang (gesper) hingga cedera parah, dadanya disterika, punggungnya disiram air panas, bahkan beberapa kali diperkosa oleh majikan laki-lakinya.
Hasil pemeriksaan rumah sakit menunjukkan adanya luka-luka di kemaluan korban diduga akibat pemerkosaan. Majikan perempuan, kata korban, ikut memukuli jika pembantunya tidak melayani majikan laki-laki yang profesinya sebagai kontraktor pemotongan rumput.
Dalam kondisi luka parah, majikannya yang beretnis Malaysia etnis India membuang WF di Taman Cenderawasih, Nibong Tebal. WF terkapar selama 12 jam di pinggir jalan hingga seorang pejalan kaki menemukan dan membawanya ke kantor polisi.
Kepolisian Penang kemudian mengusut penyiksaan ini selama seminggu. Korban awalnya sempat tidak tahu dimana alamat majikannya karena keluar rumah dengan mata tertutup. Namun berkat kegigihan kepolisian Penang, kedua majikan WF akhirnya dapat ditangkap, Sabtu. Kedua majikan WF kini dalam tahanan kepolisian Penang.
Da`i Bachtiar mengucapkan terima kasih dan memberikan apresiasi tinggi kepada kepala kepolisian Penang yang telah berhasil menangkap kedua majikan WF.
"Saya minta majikan saya dihukum seberat penderitaan saya," kata WF kepada Dubes. Ia khawatir suami dan keluarga di kampung tidak mau menerima dia karena luka yang parah. Hampir seluruh punggungnya terkena luka bakar akibat disiram air panas dan dadanya juga mengalami luka bakar akibat distrika majikan perempuan.
Dubes juga memberikan uang santunan sebesar 2.000 Ringgit (Rp5,5 juta) kepada WF.
(Sumber: www.antaranews.com - 20/09/2010)
Maid forced into sex romp
on Sunday, September 19, 2010
Sunday September 19, 2010
By TAN SIN CHOW
GEORGE TOWN: An Indonesian maid has claimed that she was abused by a couple and forced into a threesome sex romp with them.
Her four-month ordeal ended when the couple felt they had had enough of her and chucked her by a roadside at Taman Cenderawasih in Nibong Tebal last Sunday, with RM30 to fend for herself.
She wandered around aimlessly for 12 hours before a good Samaritan took her to a police station in town the following day.
George Town OCPD Asst Comm Gan Kong Meng said the victim, who looked traumatised and skinny, had burn and scald marks on her back and chest.
Tools of torture: Senior investigating officer ASP Mohd Khalil Khalid (left) showing an iron and a belt believed to have been used on the maid while ACP Gan looks on during the press conference in Penang. She is being treated at the Penang Hospital for multiple bruises.
A medical inspection showed there were tears in her private parts, ACP Gan said at a press conference at the Patani Road police station here yesterday.
The 26-year-old maid from East Java claimed she was raped several times by her employer, a grass-cutting contractor, while his wife would beat her up if she did not give in to her husband’s sexual demands.
ACP Gan said the victim claimed the couple, aged 41 and 36, used a belt to hit her on the head, hands and legs. She also alleged that she was splashed with hot water and had her chest burnt with an iron.
The maid said she started working for the couple in February at their apartment in Jelutong here but the abuses only began in May.
ACP Gan said police arrested the couple at 9.15pm on Friday after five days of trying to locate their apartment as the victim was not familiar with the area.
“We had to take many pictures of apartments in Jelutong to show her. Once the apartment was identified, we asked around the neighbourhood before the suspects were nabbed,” he said.
The Indonesian consulate here has been informed of the case.
ACP Gan said the husband had three previous convictions for drug and criminal offences.
Police also seized a car belonging to the man as well as an iron, a belt, a comforter and a bedsheet from the apartment. The couple has four children aged five to 15.
Maid into slaves
on Thursday, May 20, 2010
But this is not the stuff of modern-day servitude. And neither is it confined to the selling of women and children to brothels. There are many forms of human trafficking -- the term more commonly used to describe human bondage in its contemporary incarnation -- and its defining characteristic is not the ownership of people as chattel to be traded as in the past but the inhumanity of the indignities imposed on another human being.
Like it or not, we have to confront the uncomfortable reality that foreign maids may be living in bondage in our homes or next door. We can no longer ignore the exploitation of this underclass of domestic helpers who have been keeping our homes well-run. And as long as there is a darker side to the best of people, we cannot leave their fate to the milk of human kindness.
Fortunately, there is now a letter of intent between Malaysia and Indonesia to let the maids keep their passports and to provide them with days off. The challenge now is to find common ground on the outstanding issues of fair wages and recruiting fees. While it is vital for Malaysia to provide legal protection to maids, it is equally important for Indonesia to exercise more control over the practices of the recruiting agencies and the training they conduct.
Opinion 2010-05-20 13:35
Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak and Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono signed a memorandum of understanding Tuesday (18 May) on the new terms of the maids’ employment, including giving them a day off a week and allowing them to keep their passports.
It is understood that Indonesia has suggested a minimum wage of RM600 for maids but it requires further discussions.
Several high-profile abuse cases have created great discussions over the welfare of Indonesian maids. Also, the Indonesian government has earlier imposed a freeze on sending maids to Malaysia since they are not receiving fair treatment here. On the other hand, cases involving Indonesian maids, including runaways, stealth and abuse of children can also be heard from time to time.
Based on the information, we have some 300,000 legal and illegal Indonesian maids and most of them are responsible for housework and taking care of children, elders and patients. They are actually contributing a lot to our society. Unfortunately, some employers treat them as slaves and as a result, a lot of complaints are made.
It is a fact that Malaysia does not pay high for maids. To be fair, allowing maids, who belong to the vulnerable groups in the society, to enjoy a minimum wage, a day-off a week and a better working environment is just meeting the minimum international labour standards, there should be no controversy at all.
However, some employers are concerned that whether they have neglected the welfare of employers while making an agreement to protect the basic welfare of maids. For example, who should be responsible for the losses if the maid runs away?
Maids run away with various strange reasons, and it is not necessarily because they have been abused or treated unfairly. A friend of mine treated her maids like friends but the first two of her maids ran away with their boyfriends. She got the third maid but found that the maid was suffering from venereal disease and it caused endless worries to her family.
Every time when she applied for a maid, my friend paid the maid advanced salary. Together with agency and visa fees, she had to spend about RM7000 for a maid. She really suffered a great loss as three of the maids were not satisfactory.
In the long run, the memorandum of understanding signed by Malaysian and Indonesia can help us solve the maid dispute. It is a good thing. But the market is realistic. When the welfare and treatment for maids have been improved, their quality must be improved, too. The market may also shift to other countries for cheaper maids.
Another problem that we should think about is, why are we losing millions of talents at the same time when we are importing up to 2 millions of Indonesian labours and maids?
(By LIM MUN FAH/ Translated by SOONG PHUI JEE/ Sin Chew Daily
May 20, 2010 14:47 PM
By: Ramjit
KUALA LUMPUR, May 20 (Bernama) -- Malaysian employers and their Indonesian maids can still negotiate the requirement for an off day a week and come up with mutually-agreed arrangement, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak said.He said if both sides agreed, the maids need not take an off day and they would be paid salary in lieu of the off day."If we have concerns, we can still negotiate," he told reporters after opening the ground breaking ceremony of Utusan Melayu (M) Berhad's new headquarters at Jalan Chan Sow Lin, here on Thursday.
Najib said this when asked to comment on concerns that the one-day off for maid could give rise to social problem."There should be a compromise or else how are we going to have the supply of maid?" he said.On Tuesday, Malaysia and Indonesia signed a letter of intent, which requires Malaysian employers to give their Indonesian maids a day off a week and that if the maids agreed not to take the off day, they would be paid salaries instead.
Najib said Malaysian families were increasingly in need of maid especially if the husband and wife were working.Asked whether the setting up of more nurseries could help ease the demand for maid among working couples, Najib said it was likely that these couples would still need the service of a maid.-- BERNAMA
Hiring of Indonesian maids to resume soon
on Monday, February 1, 2010
Human Resources Minister Datuk Dr S. Subramaniam is hopeful a meeting with Indonesia this month will resolve the issue. He said Malaysians could hire Indonesian maids when their salary packages were finalised."Our aim is to reduce the salaries Malaysians have to pay for the maids.
Subramaniam was speaking after attending the opening of the state MIC service centre at Jalan Datuk Keramat and the launch of the state MIC website here yesterday.
